"Culture: the cry of men in face of their destiny." [Camus]
My original intentions were to make this a photoblog, but fate seems otherwise determined. I live not far from an existential lifestyle and tend towards misanthropic beliefs. This is my blog.
Whether you read it or not is up to you. Whether you agree or disagree is up to you..for I do not care. Enjoy..or don't.

Shoot me and I'll bleed, I think 06 June, 2009 | comment

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This looked different on my computer while post-processing, paler background. But it's late and I'm tired so I'll just leave it.
Should I have put a frame around this? Something is missing around the corners.
Maybe viewing it large on black is what it needs.

Well I'm posting this because I should be working on other things, I should had worked all of today, instead I locked myself up, preventing myself from doing things I want because I should be working, which I'm not. Clever. Almost done with a year of studying but I'm stalling the last of what I need to do.
Getting on track is no simple task.

In three days I'll be done with my first year of university. All that stands between now and then are two assignments that needs completing, yet I stall. If I finish them now or tomorrow I'll be done now or tomorrow and will be able to officially call myself free from academic commitments for a couple months.

Today was supposed to be an effective day of work. I was supposed to get so much done. What happens is, I lock myself up in my room telling myself; no fun till I'm done, then I sit down in front of the screen with a pile of notes to my left, books to my right. I start reading and writing, two hours goes, I take a break, have an apple, and never get back to work.
So there I was, locked up in my room, "working", but I wasn't, not going to the beach or even having a chat because I should be working, which I wasn't, sitting in the same spot for hours because I was just about to work, which I didn't, doing absolutely nothing of interesting because anything else would be too distracting to my work, which I wasn't doing, and here I sit now talking about working, which I should be doing.
How clever of me. Hindsight's a ~ .

The fact that these are my last pieces of work and will be the signal for a year finished makes it that much harder to focus. The mind is already half a step into another world while the rest hasn't realised the consequences and dangers I am facing with all the delaying and potential late deadlines.

Bring me back to this world, call back reality. Make me feel reality hit me and I might come back.

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